


The Choice To Be Better

by DaughterOfKings



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe-centric, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:55:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22070662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterOfKings/pseuds/DaughterOfKings
Summary: “Poe," he says, "This is what they fought for. This moment. You have to live it.”Missing moments before, during, and after TROS.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 53





	The Choice To Be Better

**Author's Note:**

> 1) Here there be spoilers for _The Rise of Skywalker_ and for the novel _Resistance Reborn_ (which is where the fic's title comes from, too, but you don't have to have read it to read this). You have been warned.
> 
> 2) Thanks, as always, to [SkylandMountain1013](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylandMountain1013/pseuds/SkylandMountain1013), for offering encouraging words whenever I decide to write about Poe.

There are things Poe gets used to after Crait: fatigue that makes his eyes ache, two meals a day instead of three, piloting the _Falcon_ , piloting whatever he can get his hands on. He goes on mission after mission in begged, borrowed, and stolen ships. The first time he returns with a cache of old weapons and a couple of too-young recruits, the others come running to greet him, squeeze his hands, and slap him on the back. 

They do the same thing when the leads dry up and he starts returning ill-tempered and empty-handed. 

The faith they still have in him, that’s something he never gets used to. 

* * *

Leia restores his rank before sending him to Ikkrukk. She doesn’t want him to go, but they both know he has to. He can’t leave Black Squadron to die alone out there. The Resistance will die with them if he does that.

“You have to survive,” Leia tells him as he’s getting ready to leave. “It means something to people. That you survive.”

Poe doesn’t know how to respond to that, really, so he flashes his cockiest grin and says, “That’s what I do, General.” More softly, he adds, “You, too. Please.”

She gives him a long look, then nods.

* * *

Corellia is a victory for the Resistance, but it also starts a clock against them. They have allies to find- and possibly to rescue- and The Collective’s safehouse isn’t going to be safe for long. Poe’s pilots hug him fiercely before they go, Snap and Kare headed one way, Jess and Sura another. Wedge shakes his hand while Norra threatens to ruffle his hair. Zay tosses him a smile over her shoulder as she jogs toward Shriv. Rose touches her necklace and squeezes his arm.

Leia beckons for him to lean down, puts her hand against his cheek, and says, “May the Force be with you.”

Poe takes a deep breath, straightens, and gives her his parade-best salute because he doesn't know if- _when_ \- he'll have the chance again. Then he falls in alongside Finn and Rey, and boards the _Falcon_. 

* * *

He drifts while Rey handles the take-off and the jump to hyperspace. Finn's telling her about Coronet City, about all the foods at Nifera Shu’s party. Someday, he thinks drowsily, he’s going to show both of them as much of the galaxy as he can to make up for what they've missed out on...

He feels a blanket being tucked around his shoulders, and cracks his eyes open to see Rey standing over him.

“Go back to sleep,” she whispers. 

“Yeah, Poe, we’ve got you,” Finn adds, resting a hand on his knee.

“Yeah, kay,” Poe agrees, and sleeps.

* * *

He gives Rey a wide berth after their disastrous escape from Pasaana, but Finn tries talking to her right away. He tries telling her that Chewie’s death wasn’t her fault, but she won't let him absolve her, and ends up fleeing to the back of the ship to be alone. 

“Let her be, buddy,” Poe advises. He knows Finn will keep insisting that she didn’t mean to do it, but it doesn’t matter what she meant to do.

She needs to sit with what she did. 

Poe knows about that. 

* * *

On Kijimi, when Finn presses him about being a spice runner, there’s so much Poe wants to say, but the words stick in his throat. How can he explain that he ran away from everything he was to a man who was forcibly taken from everything he could have been? Or confess that his reputation for recklessness didn’t just come from the way he flies, and that’s why the old brass didn’t always trust him- why Holdo didn’t- 

There’s still a sharp ache in his chest whenever he thinks about her.

He breathes through it, says something flippant, and urges everyone to keep moving. 

* * *

Poe’s x-wing controls fail- all the ships’ controls fail- but he doesn’t give up. He wrestles with the yoke, trying to gain back any maneuverability as he hurtles towards the surface of Exegol. His wounded arm throbs, and his vision starts to blur, but he doesn’t stop. It can't end like this. Not now, not after everything they’ve done- 

Abruptly, he’s back online, dive averted, and he thinks, _Rey!_

He shouts new orders over the comms, rallying everyone who answered the Resistance’s call to resume the assault on the Sith fleet.

And he fights.

* * *

When it’s over, he clings to Finn and Rey. They’re sweaty, and bloody, and trembling with leftover adrenaline, but they’re alive. They’ve made it. 

Not everyone did. 

A sob wracks Poe’s body when he thinks about the ones they lost. His legs buckle, but Finn and Rey manage to keep him upright, and then there’s someone else carefully taking his weight, gathering him close like he’s a child.

“You’re all right,” Wedge Antilles says. “You’re all right.”

Poe rears back, shaking his head, because he shouldn’t be comforted by this man. It's not right, not when Wedge has lost so many of his friends- and lost his _son_ \- but the old pilot refuses to let go. His face is gray with grief and exhaustion, and his eyes are wet, but his grip on the back of Poe’s neck is firm, grounding.

“Poe,” he says. “This is what they fought for. This moment. You have to live it.”

Poe draws in a shuddering breath and nods. 

Wedge steps back, and Finn and Rey immediately put their arms around him again. They pull him forward, propelling him into the midst of their fellow survivors. He wipes his eyes, tilts his face towards the sun, and lets himself be engulfed in the celebration.


End file.
